Why Are the Teen Years so HARD on Moms?

In this little video I’m talking about why the teen years are so hard for moms and some advice to make these years easier on you.

As moms, we sacrifice so much for our kids. Then they hit their teens, and they begin to pull away. It is common for moms to struggle, and I have some tips on making these years more joyful.

First, you must understand that it’s not your kids’ job to make you happy. Notwithstanding your sacrifices, your kids’ teen years are very self-focused. It’s normal and it is essential to them creating their own identities. So, how do you cope?

You must realized that no one can make you unhappy without your permission. Likewise, no one can make you happy unless you choose to create happiness in your life. This is my challenge to you today.

  1. Decide that you are completely responsible for your own happiness.
  2. Stop and think about what makes you happy. If you don’t know, spend some time finding out.
  3. Inject FUN into your life. Do something just because it brings you joy.

Once you take complete responsibility for your own happiness, you move into an empowered place. When you live from that empowered place, your daughter sees what that looks like and learns from your example that SHE is also in control of her own happiness, not that boy, not that grade, not that school, and certainly not you. You are not responsible to make your teen happy.

Don’t forget to click over to our Facebook group and tell me your thoughts.

Michelle

Are your problems just beginning?

Today I’m talking about how to begin early preventing risky behaviors in your teens. Click to watch.

Note: The sound and picture are misaligned. My apologies.

A couple of important take-aways:

  1. Teens see themselves as adults, so “what is okay for you is okay for me” in their minds.
  2. Teens will model your behavior–good and bad.
  3. The Law of Magnification- Teens lack the ability to regulate behaviors, so think of them taking your bad habit and 10x it.

Raising a strong, healthy teen starts with you. It’s never too late to set a goal, give up a bad habit or begin a good habit. I know you can do it. You may need support.

If you want 1:1 help dealing with a particular issue with your teen, you can get a complementary coaching session from me. Click here to sign up.

What is it about New Year’s Eve?

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Pass the tissue. Again.

I’m always sick on New Year’s. I can count on one hand the number of New Year’s Eves in the past fifteen years that I’ve been well.

It’s strange because I actually have a pretty good immune system. I don’t get sick much during the rest of the year, but the holidays always get me. I don’t remember this being the case before I had kids. My first New Year’s of motherhood was 2000– the big Y2K. I remember staying up until midnight, determined to see the new millennium come. I was sick on the couch with a sinus infection.

Two years later I was sick again. I delivered my son on January 3, and I had no voice. In fact, the antibiotics they gave me for the delivery made me well. I left the hospital feeling great (with my new baby boy).

Year after year, it’s been a consistent pattern. I’ve missed more church choir Christmas performances than I’ve participated in–usually because I have some kind of bronchial gunk that zaps my voice.

This year was no different. My kids have all had one bug or other since September. I stayed healthy. I went in and got a flu shot because I recently took a fulltime job, and I knew I’d have a higher chance of being exposed.

I’d rejoiced in the fact that I made it through Christmas without getting sick, but I left work on December 31st feeling lousy. Two days later I sounded terrible. I began to worry that I’d end up in the walk-in clinic begging for antibiotics.

Saturday, January 3rd, was my son’s birthday. He turned thirteen. He said, “Mom, are you ever well on my birthday?”

I started wondering. Sure, there have been years when I wasn’t sick on his birthday, but some of those were years when I got sick at Christmas and was on the mend when the new year rolled around. As I’ve gotten older, the holidays seem less fun. Maybe this is why. Someone is always sick. If it’s not me or my kids, it’s the cousins, who inevitably share their colds with us.

Maybe my body knows that at Christmas, I’m guaranteed a little down time, so it takes advantage of the window of opportunity.

I don’t know, but it’s becoming annoyingly predictable.

 

My FAVORITE Harvest

Love, love, love August in Eastern Washington. It’s harvest time. I am so lucky to have a husband who planted a nectarine tree for me and tends it all year long, just because he knows I love them. That, my friends, is true love. He is THE BEST!

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Swpid-20140802-052850.jpgo, my NILA friends, are you hungry for some farm-fresh nectarines courtesy of Mr. Hansen?

Mmmmm. So good.

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